How To Be Curious

Curiosity is a critical skill in sales - so how do you get better at being curious?

The good news is that there’s no techniques to learn or strategies to deploy. You can’t think or practice your way to curiosity.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite - you need to disregard and unlearn all your thinking about it. 

You see, curiosity is our natural state. As humans, we are born curious.

And this is one of the key reasons our species has been so successful (in evolutionary terms). 

Think about it - you don’t have to teach a child to be curious, they just are. It’s their being, it’s their nature.

Just observe children and watch how they always lead with curiosity - yes, I know that being asked ‘why?’ a thousand times a day can be excruciating, but that just shows their love for curiosity. 

And it’s your natural being as well…if you let it shine through. 

So if you’re struggling to be effortlessly curious, it’s simply because it’s been covered up by your thinking mind trying to be curious. 

And that’s not surprising. 

Most salespeople these days are bombarded with different training, strategies and techniques. 

Which questions to ask, how to ask them, when to ask them etc. 

Many salespeople are armed with all sorts of great questions but with no idea how to create the connection that allows you to ask them and receive a genuine response. 

That’s the thing with curiosity - it creates connection.

Not the false type of connection that you get trained on (I remember being told to check out my prospects’ Facebook pages to find out their hobbies and interests so I could ask questions about them to ‘build rapport’…creepy or what). 

In fact, if you’re being trained on how to connect with your customers, this is simply a sign that our thinking minds have taken over and we’ve lost our connection with ourselves. 

If you want to be genuinely curious and create real connections with people, you don’t have to ‘do’ anything…you simply need to forget all the stuff you’ve been told to say and do. 

As soon as the thought ‘I need to be curious here’ appears in your mind, you know you’ve dropped out of natural curiosity and are in your thinking head. 

So let that thought go, allow your mind to quiet, and drop back into being, not thinking. 

It’s really an ‘unlearning’. And most people find it hard because it goes against their programming - most of us believe our strength is in our acquired knowledge and capacity to think.  

It requires vulnerability to be curious. 

You actually have to show up as you really are. Not the high performing, ‘master of my craft’ salesperson version of yourself. As YOU. 

And this makes those who rely on their thinking mind feel very uncomfortable, as often they’ve forgotten who they really are and are attached to this idea of themselves that they portray to themselves and others. 

Remembering who you are is the way back to genuine curiosity and connection.

And where does that lead you?

Usually towards all the things you want - clients sharing how they actually feel (not what they think), connection at a deeper human level (not a false persona to persona level) and insight into what's really going on in their world (not the filtered version that they want you to hear). 

This is the bedrock for serving rather than selling. 

And when you genuinely serve others, you never have to sell to anyone again in your life. 

(More on selling v serving in an upcoming post).